Published on the 28th March 2017
How to Mend a Strained Relationship
Reading Time: 3 min read
Everybody hits a bump in a relationship at some point in time, whether it is with a mother, brother, friend or partner. Leaving such skirmishes to go unchecked will not only put an unnecessary strain on the relationship, but over time it will also degenerate into a strained relationship.
From this point, there are two ways how the situation can play out. Things could either take a turn for the better or keep spiralling downwards, depending solely on the willingness of the two parties. However, before starting the journey towards reconciliation, one must face his own demons before dealing with the other person in question.
Review your Relationship
Before thinking of a way forward, one must first come to terms with what happened, and accept the fact that, unfortunately, what was said or done cannot be taken back.
Although this might be apparently obvious to many, most people would agree that they do not keep this view in perspective before approaching the person with whom they are in conflict, as our emotions usually get the better of us.
This is very important to keep in mind because it will help you keep your emotions and pride in check. There may be times when one cannot start afresh – however, there is definitely a possibility for healing and mending a relationship.
Identify the Problem and Speak About It
The first thing to do is to identify the problem and speak solely of it. It is useless bringing up past issues that were supposedly resolved. Also, in this case, honesty is the best policy. Tell the person what bothers you about them or what they do. If you are going to hold back, the same thing will eventually happen again.
Being completely honest with the person will help to avoid future conflicts. Sometimes we expect people to read our minds or to spot subtle hints, but one should consider that it is far more effective to be direct and straightforward, whilst communicating this in a respectful and empathetic manner.
Accept your Mistakes and move forward
Once you’ve identified what the big problem is, and you have an open discussion about it, you must be ready to accept and admit your mistakes.
You should also be patient and not interrupt the other person as they are communicating their side of the story. It is natural to get defensive in such cases, but one must also remember that nobody is perfect and everybody is liable to make a mistake.
Give yourself time to process
Finally, give yourself and the other person time to process what was discussed. Do not expect the situation to improve instantaneously.
Remember that ultimately, both you and the other person have to be ready to sit down and talk about your differences to mend your strained relationship. There will be times when your ego gets bruised, but it is well worth it in the end.
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